The Death of Big Tiny

So, yeah. Big Tiny. In the flesh.

The Big Guy didn't mince words; he seemed intent on bringing them down. He lead them to a rather ominous underground garage... thing... and quickly set to knocking their lights out. The guys took out the four goons pretty fast, but Big Tiny was another matter altogether. He seemed entirely immune to bullets, but wasn't afraid to hand out some rapid-fire pain of his own. Cutthroat Kenny took some serious damage right out the gate, and after a few good hits, the new guy took some pain, too. Enraged, he started beating down Big Tiny... but only after accidentally hitting Caz. Oops.

After quit a bit of slugging it out, the Big Guy dropped. He growled out something like, "This avatar was weak. You will be stopped!" before expiring. His girlfriend, Molly Malone (that skanky ho) didn't take it too well. "Eyy, Big Tiny, you're hurt, you're confused, why you tawlkin' like that? Don't worry, baby, I'll stop 'em! I'll stop 'em good! They won't get away with this, baby. Baby? Big Tiny?"

She stands up, and says, "He's dead! He's dead, an' youse killed him. Youse killed Big Tiny! You t'ink that makes you a big man, huh? Well, you ain't nothin'! Pinstripe will hear about this, an' he'll know who done it. He'll know Big Tiny di'n't go down easy - an' neither did I!"

She yanked a knife out of her garters and a purse popper out of her, well, purse, and took a few shots at them, surprisingly well-aimed. It didn't take long before Mr. Rage Beast to toss her around like a rag-doll, though. He said, and I quote, "Puny Maiden."

They got an achievement, "Two for One", and an unlock code that doesn't work right away, that I'm not posting here for all the world to read, but I do have it written down if you guys need it, just saying. They were also left in a big room with no doors...

Caz and the big guy whose name I don't remember looked around, and eventually found a door out; they said it was "tingly", but they made it out fine. Kenny and Dapper Dan stayed behind, looting corpses and looking for other clues - and realizing that where they were, they were not only cut off from the outside world, but they couldn't log out. Which, uh, I don't have to tell you is 1) impossible and 2) the stuff nightmares are made of. Has no one watched Black Mirror? Seriously, "trapped in a VR game" is one reason I refuse to watch modern horror films. Waaaaay too close to home.

Anyway, I digress. Dapper Dan and Kenny eventually made it out the door, and the group met up at the diner, which is where I got the whole story. They introduced Raquise (the new guy), along with some weird thing about him eating cat food? I'm not sure, but he and Charles are buddies. Like two peas in a pod, assuming one pea stripped before getting in fist fights and the other pea has some seriously awesome hair. Which is to say, they are not like each other at all.

Anyway, we discussed a few things about the games, research into people who played it - which, I should note, it looks like there are fewer people mentioning weird things, because some of them got people showing up and trying to "silence" them. Like, seriously, just like the thugs yesterday. Who died in a fire today, except the two that were in jail, who hung themselves. Yep, that's right, the guy on sleepy drugs with his arm in a sling hung himself. With an electrical cable, which I know because we live in a world with Twitter and nurses who overshare and get in big ol' HIPAA violation trouble.

I may need to stop drinking coffee at four cups, but that is neither here nor there.

It wasn't long before we got a call - like, an actual, voice-only, ye olde cell phone call. Or rather, Charles did. From an unlisted number. Some cranky old conspiracy theorist who READS THIS BLOG and who should know that the guys have never actually heard his real voice but again, I digress. He had some new info, and suggested that maybe McDonalds Wifi wasn't the best solution. And shared some of his conspiracy theories, like the fact that his namesake, the Luna 15 space craft that wrecked into the moon did not, in fact, wreck into the moon, but indeed was stolen. By aliens. Which, I assume, are related to the aliens that tried to take over Earth back in the 90s, but were pushed back by a couple scientists and a group of Texas Rangers? Or something?

Anyway, the guys headed back to their various homes, except Raquise who opted to stay at the diner and use their free WiFi, because "the McDonalds WiFi sucks" (and I'm sure no other reason), and go sailing. First things first, they headed to Tortuga, where they wanted to speak with the Hag of Tortuga. Weird point, but according to the lore, she was the first person to call herself that, and actually liked the name?

They picked up a quest, first - helping Havana Black free some slaves up the coast. The crept in, killed the guards, and made short work of the sailors - all except the captain, who left them more than a little bit unwell. Oh, and they were suffering some negatives from the Space Drugs they took, which usually don't bleed over to other games, but I guess the weirdness with Big Tiny caused it to do so. They freed the slaves, sold off the stuff they plundered, and left the ship on fire. Good times all 'round.

Anyway. I need to get a refill on my coffee. I'm sure I'll have another updated soon.